Gigfunflis is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, dishonourable weasel.

Gigfunflis created the planet Mars nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Gigfunflis, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gigfunflis, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Gigfunflis' most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Gigfunflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Worship no other gods but Gigfunflis.