Cubmegzog Flisstigtig is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, humane rhinoceros.

Cubmegzog Flisstigtig created the Milkyway nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubmegzog Flisstigtig, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cubmegzog Flisstigtig, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Cubmegzog Flisstigtig's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Cubmegzog Flisstigtig's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh in the presence of dolphins.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always make sure there are no ants in a room before entering it.

5. Never write about galaxies.