Afdittanhittip is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, moody fish.

Afdittanhittip created the world seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Afdittanhittip, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Afdittanhittip, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Afdittanhittip's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Afdittanhittip's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

2. Do not take Afdittanhittip's name in vain.

3. Never go into white rooms.

4. Otters are not to be trusted.

5. Never pour water over plants.