Witbopjen is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, charitable walrus.

Witbopjen created the solar system two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Witbopjen, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Witbopjen, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Witbopjen's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Witbopjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about planets.

2. Do not kill tapirs.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always treat mice with great respect.