Bemvegyatt Cumbifgepjop Titdutstan is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, able naga.

Bemvegyatt Cumbifgepjop Titdutstan created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bemvegyatt Cumbifgepjop Titdutstan, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bemvegyatt Cumbifgepjop Titdutstan, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bemvegyatt Cumbifgepjop Titdutstan's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Bemvegyatt Cumbifgepjop Titdutstan's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always wear white.

3. Do not kill tortoises.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Bemvegyatt Cumbifgepjop Titdutstan loves sheep, so they must be respected.