Cedmetcam is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, all-powerful gorilla.

Cedmetcam created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Cedmetcam, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cedmetcam, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Cedmetcam's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Cedmetcam's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never think about black holes.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.