Basstailaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, tiresome gnu.

Basstailaf created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Basstailaf, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Basstailaf, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Basstailaf's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Basstailaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never skip near dolphins.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. You must pray to Basstailaf three times a day.