Saktettiven is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, two-faced dingo.

Saktettiven created snails two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Saktettiven, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Saktettiven, he will turn you into a mole.

Saktettiven's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Saktettiven's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always make sure there are no sharks in a room before entering it.

5. Never go into orange rooms.