Sanvabpad Disslipquam is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, witless duck.

Sanvabpad Disslipquam created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Sanvabpad Disslipquam, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Sanvabpad Disslipquam, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Sanvabpad Disslipquam's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Sanvabpad Disslipquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Never eat wheat.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always look after injured goats.