Taflantetti is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, compassionate tortoise.

Taflantetti created a Higgs boson four years ago.

If you believe in Taflantetti, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Taflantetti, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Taflantetti's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Taflantetti's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never run in the presence of squirrels.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never look in ponds.