Ontquat is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, bad-tempered zebra.

Ontquat created Mount Everest seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ontquat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ontquat, it will try to impress you with trees.

Ontquat's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Ontquat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Run away from green frogs, for they are unholy.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Always look after injured manatees.