Begtiplenhatgebbonmil is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, astonishing ant.

Begtiplenhatgebbonmil created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Begtiplenhatgebbonmil, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Begtiplenhatgebbonmil, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Begtiplenhatgebbonmil's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Begtiplenhatgebbonmil's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from green hamsters for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Do not wear zinc on your body.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never eat bark.