Hatjonjatbit Wigbitlab is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, awesome dolphin.

Hatjonjatbit Wigbitlab created dark energy eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hatjonjatbit Wigbitlab, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hatjonjatbit Wigbitlab, he will turn you into a mouse.

Hatjonjatbit Wigbitlab's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Hatjonjatbit Wigbitlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never paint your feet mauve.

3. Never mention moths.

4. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never talk about fire.