Cencubsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a large, slow walrus.

Cencubsaw created humankind four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cencubsaw, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cencubsaw, he will cry a lot.

Cencubsaw's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Cencubsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill aardvarks.

2. Cencubsaw loves gulls, so they must be honoured.

3. Never mention snakes.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.