Weekomnan is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, pitiless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Weekomnan created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Weekomnan, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Weekomnan, he will turn you into a dog.

Weekomnan's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Weekomnan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured hamsters.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never feed pineapples to voles while wearing green shoes.

5. Do not listen to music.