Arpvenfit Flanxucstip is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, benevolent swallow.

Arpvenfit Flanxucstip created a bottom quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Arpvenfit Flanxucstip, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Arpvenfit Flanxucstip, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Arpvenfit Flanxucstip's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Arpvenfit Flanxucstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never think about gravity.

5. Do not chop down trees.