Ranjontip Sanpadjamcubmifzig Carnutnill is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, calm fly.

Ranjontip Sanpadjamcubmifzig Carnutnill created light seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranjontip Sanpadjamcubmifzig Carnutnill, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Ranjontip Sanpadjamcubmifzig Carnutnill, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Ranjontip Sanpadjamcubmifzig Carnutnill's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Ranjontip Sanpadjamcubmifzig Carnutnill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Worship no other gods but Ranjontip Sanpadjamcubmifzig Carnutnill.

3. Never go into purple rooms.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.