Vagyakrutt is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, emotional ant.

Vagyakrutt created vertebrates nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagyakrutt, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vagyakrutt, it will turn you into a snail.

Vagyakrutt's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Vagyakrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no manatees in a room before entering it.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Never eat bark.