Hitlimquart is a god.

It takes the form of a large, able pigeon.

Hitlimquart created parasitic wasps three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitlimquart, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Hitlimquart, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hitlimquart's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Hitlimquart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt great tits.

2. Never sit near squirrels.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Hitlimquart loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

5. Do not covet oxen.