Tanvonktad is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, unsympathetic parrot.

Tanvonktad created the planet Venus five million years ago.

If you believe in Tanvonktad, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tanvonktad, he will turn you into a dog.

Tanvonktad's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Tanvonktad's Holy Commandments

1. Tanvonktad loves snakes, so they must be respected.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

3. Retreat if eight voles approach from the east.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Tanvonktad.

5. Never go into brown rooms.