Zitsiskap is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, conceited cobra.

Zitsiskap created a Higgs boson six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zitsiskap, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Zitsiskap, it will manifest in front of you.

Zitsiskap's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Zitsiskap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat melons.

2. Worship no other gods but Zitsiskap.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Never think about amino acids.