Mabbifqueegrip is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, amazing cat.

Mabbifqueegrip created the planet Saturn seven million years ago.

If you believe in Mabbifqueegrip, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Mabbifqueegrip, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Mabbifqueegrip's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Mabbifqueegrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cats.

2. Never feed pineapples to swans while wearing pink corsets.

3. Never sit in holy places.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate hamsters.

5. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.