Botpigbum Pigbestvab Gabxuckzan is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, irritating elephant.

Botpigbum Pigbestvab Gabxuckzan created the Sun two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Botpigbum Pigbestvab Gabxuckzan, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Botpigbum Pigbestvab Gabxuckzan, he will turn you into a snail.

Botpigbum Pigbestvab Gabxuckzan's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Botpigbum Pigbestvab Gabxuckzan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never wear red trousers.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not trade with those who eat melons.