Jandabnib is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, conceited cobra.

Jandabnib created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jandabnib, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jandabnib, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Jandabnib's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Jandabnib's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Jandabnib must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Run away from turquoise birds, for they are unholy.

5. Always take life seriously.