Tagcipjam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, self-assured capybara.

Tagcipjam created viruses three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tagcipjam, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Tagcipjam, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tagcipjam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Tagcipjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Tagcipjam loves seals, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not take Tagcipjam's name in vain.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.