Rowvintip is a god.

She takes the form of a large, overgenerous gerbil.

Rowvintip created light eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowvintip, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Rowvintip, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Rowvintip's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Rowvintip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.