Armlagvon is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, loving mole.

Armlagvon created humankind two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Armlagvon, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Armlagvon, she will send minions to preach to you.

Armlagvon's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Armlagvon's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat beans.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not kill capybaras.