Spagtail is a god.

He takes the form of a small, omnipotent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Spagtail created dark energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagtail, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Spagtail, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Spagtail's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Spagtail's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not hurt ducks.

3. Always help bats in need.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not take Spagtail's name in vain.