Vegbassbigvid is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, effective monkey.

Vegbassbigvid created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vegbassbigvid, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Vegbassbigvid, it will jump up and down on your head.

Vegbassbigvid's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Vegbassbigvid's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vegbassbigvid.

2. Never talk about gravity.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not shave your chest.