Bimtifcit is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, deceitful rat.

Bimtifcit created a down quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimtifcit, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bimtifcit, he will send minions to preach to you.

Bimtifcit's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Bimtifcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Erect a large silver sculpture of Bimtifcit on top of all buildings.