Gessmotlanmat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, blissful narwhal.

Gessmotlanmat created silver eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessmotlanmat, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Gessmotlanmat, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gessmotlanmat's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Gessmotlanmat's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never wear dresses.

5. Retreat if nine rats approach from the north.