Gadhivpan is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, stupid chinchilla.

Gadhivpan created silver seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadhivpan, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gadhivpan, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Gadhivpan's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Gadhivpan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Squirrels are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never bounce in holy places.

4. Do not hurt horses.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.