Somtendum is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, unthoughtful hare.

Somtendum created a Higgs boson two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Somtendum, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Somtendum, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Somtendum's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Somtendum's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear dresses.

2. Never go into turquoise rooms.

3. Never jump near pigs.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate geese.