Matvogwap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, irritating crane.

Matvogwap created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Matvogwap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Matvogwap, she will ignore you.

Matvogwap's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Matvogwap's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight grasshopers approach from the north.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Tapirs are not to be trusted.

5. Do not make images of living things.