Jenjamzod is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, humorless newt.

Jenjamzod created time and space four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenjamzod, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Jenjamzod, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Jenjamzod's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Jenjamzod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not speak about aubergines.

4. Always help sharks in need.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Jenjamzod.