Watgabvig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, unthoughtful crocodile.

Watgabvig created the Small Magellanic Cloud four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Watgabvig, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Watgabvig, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Watgabvig's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Watgabvig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Watgabvig.

3. Always treat turtles with great respect.

4. Never hurt bats.

5. Never laugh in the presence of hamsters.