Sigjenlig is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, pitiless faun.

Sigjenlig created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigjenlig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sigjenlig, she will turn you into a rock.

Sigjenlig's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Sigjenlig's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Put Sigjenlig first in all things.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sigjenlig.