Midvabhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, fast hyena.

Midvabhiv created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Midvabhiv, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Midvabhiv, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Midvabhiv's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Midvabhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Midvabhiv on top of all buildings.

3. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Always pray immersed in water.