Midyartkom is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, caring cat.

Midyartkom created the Andromeda Galaxy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Midyartkom, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Midyartkom, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Midyartkom's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Midyartkom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Midyartkom on top of all buildings.

2. Pigs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Always look after injured turtles.

4. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.