Cepbarnbon is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, strong monkey.

Cepbarnbon created oxygen two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cepbarnbon, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cepbarnbon, it will laugh at you.

Cepbarnbon's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Cepbarnbon's Holy Commandments

1. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Cepbarnbon on top of all buildings.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Hide if four whales approach from the south.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.