Vinfarnbifjablentag is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, egotistical tapir.

Vinfarnbifjablentag created the Cigar Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vinfarnbifjablentag, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vinfarnbifjablentag, she will turn you into a rock.

Vinfarnbifjablentag's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Vinfarnbifjablentag's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near turtles.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Put Vinfarnbifjablentag first in all things.