Labflyparkbasskikpod is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, self-confident dolphin.

Labflyparkbasskikpod created a strange quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Labflyparkbasskikpod, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Labflyparkbasskikpod, she will jump up and down on your head.

Labflyparkbasskikpod's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Labflyparkbasskikpod's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands pink.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always obey Labflyparkbasskikpod's priests.