Straglaktim is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, pitiless ferret.

Straglaktim created dark matter seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Straglaktim, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Straglaktim, she will turn you into a mole.

Straglaktim's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Straglaktim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight silicon sculptures of Straglaktim on top of important buildings.

2. Always wear magenta.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Do not commit murder.