Camkanxem Wab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonest tortoise.

Camkanxem Wab created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Camkanxem Wab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Camkanxem Wab, she will have a low opinion of you.

Camkanxem Wab's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Camkanxem Wab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair pink.

2. Always help goats in need.

3. Always treat great tits with great respect.

4. You must never eat lentils.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.