Jenwoddiss is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome salamander.

Jenwoddiss created dark matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenwoddiss, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jenwoddiss, she will make you grow a tail.

Jenwoddiss' most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Jenwoddiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never mention grasshopers.

2. Do not eat beans.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jenwoddiss.

5. Pray towards the west.