Garnulvedjarnyakbogmin is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, passionate dingo.

Garnulvedjarnyakbogmin created Africa four years ago.

If you believe in Garnulvedjarnyakbogmin, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Garnulvedjarnyakbogmin, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Garnulvedjarnyakbogmin's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Garnulvedjarnyakbogmin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear red tights.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Garnulvedjarnyakbogmin.

3. Retreat if six goats approach from the north.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.