Baftinwap is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, charitable skunk.

Baftinwap created the planet Earth eight million years ago.

If you believe in Baftinwap, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Baftinwap, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Baftinwap's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Baftinwap's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention seals.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Put Baftinwap first in all things.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.