Pangteentad is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, confident troll.

Pangteentad created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pangteentad, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Pangteentad, she will turn you into a dog.

Pangteentad's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Pangteentad's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pangteentad.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

4. Do not hurt sheep.

5. Never look at stars.