Siscettag is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, thoughtless tapir.

Siscettag created Africa nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Siscettag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Siscettag, she will be very unhappy.

Siscettag's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Siscettag's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into gray rooms.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Hide if eight seals approach from the south.

4. Never talk about bats.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.