Feblarpsaw is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, unthoughtful swallow.

Feblarpsaw created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Feblarpsaw, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Feblarpsaw, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Feblarpsaw's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Feblarpsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat figs.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never feed spinach to mites while wearing red stockings.

4. Do not speak about strawberries.

5. Always take life seriously.